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Writer's pictureSabrina Gilliam

goodbye hotel, hello FAMILY!!

I’ve been hidden in a cave for 5 days and I’m ready to come out! I took my radioactive iodine pill Thursday and this morning, I get to go home to my family!! I woke up at 6 this morning laying in bed thinking about what a great day this is going to be. I don’t know what to even say about this time alone. Here are a few things I’ve learned

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Do you ever just WISH you could get out of your life for while just to BE ALONE…. COMPLETELY alone. I came to this hotel with no cell phone, no computer, no people. Just me. I figured, I lived without a phone and computer my entire life, what’s 1 week. I went to Panera yesterday for lunch because I officially could go out and expose everyone to my germs by then. I’ll have to tell you about all the conversations I listened to later but I’ll say this. I listened to 2 tables of girls my age talking.  This was one conversation I heard:

How’s Tina?

Oh, she’s let her self go girl. All she does is take care of those kids and throw herself into whatever her husband is doing. Our lives have taken such different paths. I’m way to driven to clean up after people all day and wait for my husband to come home. She’s just wasting her life.

All I thought was, oh I wish I has wierd enough to pull up a chair and just correct this moron. I will when I’m an old lady though because old people are allowed to do anything they want and still seem sweet. So wait til I’m 70 honey and I will be pulling up a chair and hit you on the head with my cane and give you a good talking to. But I’m still 30 and a little radioactive so wasn’t the best day for that.

Dont go to party’s you know nothing about. Sunday morning I went to the park to read and spend time alone. It was completely empty, so quiet and nice. After reading and praying and crying my eyes out. I was done. About 2 football fields away were tents and tons of people. I had seen signs before about BBQ competitions and was so excited, I’ve always wanted to go to one. It was just about lunch time so I got in my car and drove to the party wanting some good southern BBQ. When I got to over there, I didn’t see any kids or family or BBQ. Well, I finally asked a lady what this was. She just looked at me and said It’s the PARTY in the PARK….. sounds fun I thought. Didn’t know what kind of party but I was excited to go see what was under all the tents.. As we talked she explained the party in the park a little more. 2 words came out of her mouth that helped me realize I was not at a BBQ competition. The 2 words were GAY PRIDE. All of a sudden I realized it was Sunday morning, there were no families and no kids and no BBQ anywhere near there for a reason. There were a few police cars surrounding our little party though so nobody attacked us…. How the heck did I get to a GAY PRIDE party on a Sunday morning during church???!!! I didn’t have my wedding ring on either because I didn’t want the thing radioactive when Icame home. As I was leaving, I just thought oh goodness, how am I going to explain this if someone see’s me.

If you dont spend time with the Lord when you are busy, you wont spend time with the Lord when your bored. The part that has been nice is spending time with my Lord as often as I want. No interuptions, nothing to do, just time with Him. But you know what else I’ve learned? Having nothing to do doesnt cause you to spend more time with Him than you already do when you’re busy. That’s right. I’m telling you all those excuses (“I just dont have time to spend in the Word and prayer, my life is too busy.”) Is just that, an excuse. When you are alone and bored, time with Jesus isn’t what you are going to jump to do even when you having nothing else to do.

I was reading a book this week and in one part the lady was saying that when Jesus got away to spend time with the Lord, everyone was always looking for Him, and needing Him. But He got alone with God anyways. He just did it, even though every pressure was around Him to fill His schedule with serving and doing and helping others. The disciples were often waiting and looking for Him when He was alone with His Father. So that’s one thing I’ve learned. Getting alone with God is no different when you have a full schedule or no schedule at all. It’s still something you have to DO. Get rid of the excuses because they are just excuses you and I make because we are lazy and our heart love other things more than Him.

Those are just a few things from the past 5 days. Now I ‘m on my way out of this hotel and going to see my kids and Joe. I can’t wait! I have a full body scan on Thursday morning. Not exactly sure what for, I think to see where all this Radioactive stuff went in my body. Havent had too many side effects. God was gracious! love y’all!

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