So I had to go back to the hospital for 2 days. They sent me home with this big drain in my neck. I was supposed to care for. I was suppposed to empty it every few hours. I just got really scared at home and felt a lot safter back at the hospital. I started having panic attacks when my mind would go to tomorrows trials. Joe sweetly has reminded me that God’s grace is only for today, so not to bother from tomorrows struggles. Just get through 1 hour at a time. I’ve had to appologize to the Lord many many many times over the past few days.
We were in the emergency room the first night back and let me just say, all the characters come out in the middle of the night to the ER. There was a lady that delivered her baby in a wheelchair right outside my door. She literally was screaming in the wheelchair and then you heard a new born baby cry. It was so sweet to listen to. There was another lady that was a crack addict yelling at all the nurses. Her story was so sad, later that night, she was sitting in the hall way and I heard her telling the nurses her dad had started her on crack when she was a kid. Poor thing, no wonder she was so mean. And then there was me, crying every time the nurse came in. My body felt so bad. Joe was the only person that could comfort me. Each time I was struggling, he opened his Bible and read to me out of the Psalms and got on the hospital bed with me to hold me and keep my body from shaking. I’m so thankful for him. I’ve fallen in love with him all over again this week. I hope I never forget how he’s treated me in this. I finally got the drain out of my neck this morning and am back home again.
I’m home now and I am doing a lot better. The kids are keeping my mind occupied and mom keeps bringing me bowls of hot soup and fruit to eat. I love having my mom here. I’m finally starting to feel somewhat normal again. It has taken a lot longer than I expected but as each hour is passing I feel I am healing. I’m sorry I havent answered my phone or texts to anyone yet. My voice is really hoarse and it’s kindof been hard to talk.
Another side note, someone should not be a nurse who is mean. Have you ever had a mean nurse. I only had one….. maybe she was just not wanting to be at work today. Every time she left the room Joe would say she picked the wrong profession. Once I was feeling better, it gave us some good laughs. The rest of the nurses were wonderful though.
Mom is staying through the week to help me with the kids. The only thing on my agenda this week is to heal. When I came home, Khalil and mom had SPRING CLEANED for me. Each window seal and window and cleaning, under all the beds, all the hardwood floors cleaned. So much pressure taken off of me.
The kids are all doing good. The scar does seem to scare them a little bit.
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